The heinous child-abuses caused by mindsets of Discrimination/Racism/Controlling vs Parenting

This article centres around these key aspects. 

• Deep-rooted invisible discriminatory-mindset control us
• Deep rooted discrimination of Indian caste system
• An example of a western origin, influenced by deep-rooted discriminatory conditioning of the Indian caste system
• The adoption of literal, showy, and mechanical politeness and thoughtfulness perpetuates and reinforces discriminatory and controlling mindsets
• Loss of emotions or arrogance/discrimination/subconscious-cavities?
• Caring: Pretence or Controlling mindset
• Sacrifice or Controlling mindset?
• Discriminatory mindset vs Pain/Suffering
• Epilogue: the Heinous Child-Abuse
• Akin to the stolen Australian Aboriginal generations
• Is it not the "Heinous Child Abuse"?

1. Discriminatory/Racist/Controlling mindset

The people of a discriminatory/controlling mindset tend to have inclinations towards negativity, as our genuine character, which lies beneath the facade of external appearances and professed values, is often found to be hollow, superficial, and negative. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we have a natural inclination to seek guidance and learn from individuals who possess this mindset, as we find it comfortable to do so, because our own true nature aligns with theirs.

1.1  Deep-rooted invisible discriminatory-mindset control us

I am of Indian origin. The Indian society is unfortunately marred by the horrific caste-based discriminatory system. For around twenty-five years, I have been dedicating my life to actively fighting against discrimination through constructive resolution, which has provided me with a deep comprehension of this pervasive issue. Though, due to our superiority arrogance, we may perceive ourselves as devoid of discriminatory thinking, it is essential to comprehend the profound impact of ingrained discriminatory conditioning on how it possesses control over us. For approximately eighteen years, I have been fortunate enough to experience living within western society. Because of my strong commitment to social-justice and social-harmony, I have cultivated the capacity to perceive the hidden discriminatory arrogance that often resides in the minds of individuals within Western society, despite their outward denial of possessing such a mindset. Despite our perception or belief that we are not harbouring a discriminatory mindset, it is important to recognise the possibility of living under the illusion or arrogance of such a mindset.

By means of articles, books, stories, and other mediums, we become aware of the discriminatory practices faced by individuals belonging to lower castes, such as being prohibited from entering the residences of those from higher castes and using their possessions. The consequences of breaking the rules were incredibly harsh, with punishments ranging from limb amputations to murders, and in the most tragic cases, entire families being wiped out and children being forcibly taken away. In addition to the ones mentioned, there were countless other examples that I will delve into in this discussion. Looking at first glance, it seems that there is no indication of a discriminatory-mindset; in contrast, qualities such as humility, sensitivity, ideology, and thoughtfulness are present. But is it really genuine humility, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, or an invisible discriminatory-mindset penetrated on a deeper level of subconscious? To better comprehend the pervasive influence of discriminatory conditioning on our thoughts, actions, values, and ability to make decisions, there are many real-life, typical, and broad examples. In the upcoming sub-section that is specifically focused on a particular topic, I will discuss based on various real-life examples, a few of which are drawn from my family experiences, who were landlords, providing firsthand insights that I have had opportunities to observe personally. 

1.1.1  Deep rooted discrimination of Indian caste system

The Indian caste system was formed with an organised system where different castes were assigned specific types of work. The categorisation of castes is determined by an individual's birth in a particular caste. The people who were born into a particular caste had no choice but to fulfil the assigned obligations and duties that were associated with that caste. Different castes were established for different tasks, resulting in a wide range of caste divisions. Such as MAALI caste for supplying flowers to homes, NAAI for cutting hair, massaging and messaging, KAHAAR caste for filling water in houses, KUMHAAR caste for making clay pots, BADAI caste for making objects from wood, LOHAAR caste for making objects from iron, GADARIA caste for grazing animals, a caste for growing vegetables, JAMAADAAR caste for cleaning sewerage and sanitation, and many more castes. Throughout history, both in the past and present, castes that have been engaged in physical labor and production have consistently been categorised as lower castes. 

Back in the day, around forty years ago, it was a common occurrence for me to spend my school holidays at my grandparents' house. In villages at that particular time, it was a luxury afforded only by the affluent to possess toilets within their households. In addition to having toilets inside their grandparents' house, they had set aside a large open area on the roof specifically for use as a toilet. If neither myself nor my cousins felt inclined to use the toilet, and instead had the urge to relieve ourselves in the open, we could have easily accomplished this by going onto the roof. The roof of that area was not constructed with concrete; instead, it was made of mud. Additionally, tall trees in the vicinity would shed leaves, creating a beautiful scene, while the grass would thrive and grow abundantly. It was a daily practice for a person belonging to the JAMAADAAR caste to ascend to the house's rooftop twice a day, in the morning and evening, to ascertain whether any of us children had defecated in that area or not. Should he/she come across a pile of faeces in that area, he/she would carefully scoop it up and place it inside a container, the container which was brought by them. 

Those days, various individuals from different castes daily were visiting grandparents' house for different tasks, such as collecting faeces, massaging, giving or looking after potting or flowers, filling water, woodworking, ironworking, clay working, or working in our agricultural lands. It was customary for these individuals to not be remunerated by money for their work, as per tradition. Daily meals, donation of used garments, periodically allocation of grains, and the distribution of grains and inexpensive presents during celebrations or festivals occurred. Our pretentious means of behaviour with these individuals were through familial ties, such as calling them by family relations as grandparents, tau-tai, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, and more. We did not just haphazardly start calling people whatever names we pleased, like everything else, there were rules for this as well. Despite the separation of castes, and having no connection of blood, calling and behaving with them with family relation was the tradition.

These individuals were provided routine assistance packages, such as food, clothing, medicines, allocated land to construct huts, essential materials for the construction, and even toys and sweets for their children. As the children grew older and reached the age of getting married, the expenses associated with their weddings were also shared and contributed to. Despite the oppressive practice of untouchability, there was freedom allowed to a certain extent for these individuals to move in and out of the house.

Throughout numerous generations, this system persisted, one generation after another. Despite the unfairness of the situation, the people who were exploited found a way to continue living their lives, accepting the system that was imposed upon them. Despite the fact that the upper castes held complete control over property, wealth, and income, a majority of individuals belonging to the upper castes perceive the provision of food, clothing, cottages, and more to the lower castes as an act of generosity, humility, sensitivity, ideology, rationality, thoughtfulness, and greatness. Those individuals who possess a discriminatory mindset consider this system to be the most superior among all social systems. There is a significant portion of the population who are eager to go back to this kind of system.

1.1.2  An example of a western origin, influenced by deep-rooted discriminatory conditioning of the Indian caste system

Besides the caste discrimination in Indian society, I would like to highlight a common observation I have made about Western civilisation - that individuals tend to be highly literal, pretentious, mechanically humble, ideological, and thoughtful. Even when they convey their emotions, they do so in a pretentious, mechanical, and literal manner. Despite having a discriminatory, insensitive, cruel, and controlling mindset, these individuals paradoxically perceive themselves as humble, rational, sensitive, and thoughtful, rather than possessing a discriminatory mindset. It is quite common for a significant number of individuals to have an excessive sense of superiority-ego. When someone points out about their discriminatory mindset, then rather than reflecting on their behaviour, they tend to perceive it as an assault on their self-esteem and react with direct/indirect punishment behaviour. 

The act of acknowledging the wrongdoings of other societies while simultaneously glorifying the faults within one's own society demonstrates a disturbing depth of discrimination and racism. Those with a discriminative mindset have a tendency to dismiss individuals they perceive as lowlife and therefore fail to acknowledge their inherent goodness, thus hindering any potential for learning. Because of this mindset, even our own mistakes can be perceived as acts of greatness and generosity, and our own cruelty hidden in showy words and pretentious behaviour as sensitivity and sensibility.

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In India, I had the opportunity to meet and become acquainted with someone from a Western culture country. Initially, this individual held a high regard for the residents of the marginalised areas in India, including the grassroots community, dedicated and unpaid volunteers, and non-funded grassroots NGOs. This person had a habit of learning from these Indian strata. However, after some time, this individual began working for reputed global organisations while residing in India. Following that, the individual began to be influenced by their colleagues who belonged to the upper castes in Indian society, who had an ingrained discriminatory mindset, additionally, was also influenced by individuals among the Indian population who frequently use the English language and share the discriminatory mindset. Over time, the mindset of this individual began to shift, leading to the development of a perception of rural and grassroots social workers in India as being rude, poor, inefficient, and lowlife. While conforming to western norms, this individual outwardly displayed humility, yet the internal mindset was a stark contrast in thinking. Over time, I noticed that this individual developed a discriminatory mindset towards me as well, despite the outward pretence of humility.

It is a very common and arrogant tendency for individuals hailing from countries considered privileged, developed, and civilised to proudly judge themselves of a non-discriminatory mindset. As a result, it is common for them to perceive the caste systems of India as exceedingly cruel, although they fail to introspect on the discriminatory mindset within themselves. If we ourselves harbour a mindset that is discriminatory, self-centricity, and arrogant, and if we persistently refuse to accept or rectify our blunders and mistakes.

1.2  The adoption of literal, showy, and mechanical politeness and thoughtfulness perpetuates and reinforces discriminatory and controlling mindsets

Racism is the mindset that involves controlling others, displaying arrogance, asserting superiority, and practising discrimination. Because of our conditioning to perceive racism as an outdated concept, we find ourselves in a state of arrogance where we perceive ourselves as thoughtful, sensitive, and noble individuals, despite the fact that we harbour racist tendencies. The ego of superiority is perpetuated by the subconscious mind, which awaits its chance to thrive. The mindset that fuels arrogance is typically one that thrives on discrimination and the desire for control. The level of arrogance exhibited by certain individuals is so deeply ingrained, that if they are confronted with the idea that they adhere to a discriminatory or controlling mindset, instead of self-reflection, they perceive it as an affront to their own self-esteem.

By neglecting introspection and failing to be honest within ourselves, we create an environment where we can indulge in the luxury of nurturing our arrogance and conceit, convincing ourselves that we are superior. The presence of these multiple factors makes it difficult for us to recognise and acknowledge any instances of discrimination and arrogance. Our tendency to think highly of ourselves leads us to believe that we are generous, great, and thoughtful. Eventually, we reach a stage where our arrogance drives us towards acts of cruelty, yet we stubbornly cling to the notion of our own greatness and righteousness. In order to support our position, we engage in the creation of arguments, manipulation, and the fabrication of falsehoods. People who have empty values and a hypocritical mindset tend to discrimination, arrogance; they also disregard the importance of life values. Instead of rectification, they fabricate lies, manipulate, feel proud instead of being embarrassed while doing so. 

2. Loss of emotions or arrogance/discrimination/subconscious-cavities?

In our society, there exists a considerable population that harbours discriminatory beliefs, resulting in the manipulation and control of their spouses, all while lacking the essential understanding of living in harmony. The individuals, as long as there are no children involved, persist in exerting control over their spouse, driven by their desire to maintain dominance. If the spouse is not vehemently against being controlled, then the marriage will go on. The individuals with a discriminatory and controlling mindset tend to disregard the worthiness of their spouse as a parent after children are born. Consequently, through the use of excuses, deceit, or manipulation, the person makes huge and continuous efforts to turn their spouse merely as a babysitter, who could only make improvised trivial decisions. If spouses do not express opposition or react to such discriminatory behaviours, their married life continues by perpetuating a mindset rooted in discrimination and control. As a result, the negativity and cavities that exist in the subconscious mind are passed on to their children and future generations. 

Conversely, those who oppose, and vehemently react to, the discriminatory and controlling mindset do so out of a deep longing to share their own life experiences with their children in an effort to cultivate a more comprehensive understanding of life, having a resolute commitment and unwavering devotion to their children's growth and development. When dealing with a situation like this, it is crucial to understand that there are two possible outcomes that can arise, —

• Although discriminatory and controlling, but by chance if a person is really serious and honest about life values, and understands the meaning of love, commitment, dedication, emotion, etc.. It is crucial for this individual to possess a certain level of commitment and honesty in order to reflect upon and comprehend the fact that their spouse, who has endured a controlling mindset for many years, is now reacting to it after the birth of their child. Thus, it is essential to take the opposition and reaction seriously in order to make sincere and dedicated efforts towards finding a constructive resolution. This way, a better and more nurturing environment for the child could be ensured. Sensibility and honesty are the guiding principles that consistently lead to positive solutions.
  
  
• But if a person pretends to be of the values of life, has a discriminatory and controlling mindset, is arrogant, a manipulator and a liar. Over time, a person with such a mindset gradually develops psychological illness due to their growing arrogance. This arrogance leads to escalating levels of discrimination and cruelty, causing the person to perceive the opposition and reactivity from their spouse as insults to their self-esteem and abuse. They fail to comprehend the fundamental concept that having a mindset centred around control, discrimination, arrogance and self-centricity, is inherently insulting to self-esteem and abusive. The failure of individuals with arrogant and discriminative mindsets to exhibit basic honesty blinds them to the fact that they are the ones who have been insulting the self-esteem of their spouse, whereas the spouse is simply reacting and opposing such behaviour.

People, due to their self-centricity, arrogance, discriminatory mindset, lead them to create situations in their minds that are so negative that they believe there is no possibility of a constructive resolution. In addition to this, individuals are influenced by their family and social conditioning, as well as the role models they consciously or unconsciously look up to and the psychology-sect they adhere to, contribute to the belief that finding constructive resolutions is the impossible task. There is no sincere thought given to the possibility of reaching a constructive resolution. These people are of the mindset that a constructive resolution cannot be achieved. Those who have very much self-centricity clearly demonstrate a lack of understanding when it comes to living by life-values and seeking constructive resolutions.

2.1  Caring: Pretence or Controlling mindset

By engaging in introspection, we can determine the category that accurately defines us, regardless of the external appearance we maintain.

• Those who genuinely and sincerely prioritise values like love, dedication, commitment, and accountability live with a profound sense of fulfilment derived from caring for others.
  
  
• There are individuals who feel obligated to demonstrate care or present a false image due to the influence of social or family traditions or pressures, or simply to uphold a sense of politeness. Regardless of the facade they put on, these individuals view caring as a burden and carry a constant sense of load and negativity within their minds.
  
  
• Individuals with a controlling mindset tend to expect and desire that circumstances align with their personal preferences and desires. These people pretend to care, so that others cannot see that these people are of a controlling mindset. In addition, easy to control by pretending to be caring.

2.2  Sacrifice or Controlling mindset?

When someone belongs to a society that our mindset deems inferior to ours, or when someone belongs to our own society but our arrogance considers them inferior to ourselves, we perceive living with this person as an act of sacrifice driven by love. Our discriminatory and arrogant mindset, in the name of caring, tries to shape things to be more like ourselves. To make it like ourselves means the better, because we consider ourselves better. However, if we truly understand the significance of sacrifice, love, and caring, we will prioritise relinquishing our arrogance and discriminatory mindset.

2.3  Discriminatory mindset vs Pain/Suffering

People with a privileged discriminatory mindset often believe that individuals who experience profound suffering in life require psychological therapy. People who possess a privileged discriminatory mindset often fail to recognise, in their arrogance, that the profound pain and suffering experienced in life can actually serve as a catalyst for inner growth, transforming individuals into resilient, empathetic, contemplative, and value-driven individuals. Engaging in activities such as wearing expensive clothing, indulging in fine dining experiences, travelling by car, residing in a comfortable and pollution-free environment, receiving education with minimal competition, and securing a job with limited competition, do not necessarily contribute to the development of one's values, seriousness, honesty, or sensitivity in life. Conversely, privileges tend to increase the chances of individuals becoming deceitful, arrogant, discriminatory, cruel, and less tolerant. 

3. Epilogue: the Heinous Child-Abuse

When we possess a discriminatory and arrogant mindset, our decisions and behaviours are inevitably shaped by that mindset, even though we mistakenly believe that our actions are driven by emotions rather than influenced by discrimination and arrogance. Yet, it is crucial to recognise that our conditioning, influenced by our parents and society, has shaped us in a way that we unintentionally teach our children to be void of emotions and we lack a sincere sense of accountability towards them. Because of being dominated by discrimination and arrogance, our ability to experience emotions is diminished, and we inadvertently instil these qualities in our children, influencing them to mirror our behaviour. The way we live our lives, with insincerity and conflicting values, has a direct impact on how our children perceive and adopt these same behaviours. Whatever we term as the culture, the real essence of the culture lies replicating and internalising the patterns and conditioning that exist within the depths of our subconscious. Although, our self-centricity, comforts, or hypocrisy often lead some of us to make superficial changes in these conditionings. It is inevitable that, despite our pretences, the values we instil in our children unintentionally contribute to the development of negative characteristics such as cruelty, hypocrisy, insensitivity, self-centricity, discrimination, and so on. The potential impact of our actions is significant, as they can shape children's behaviour in negative ways, leading to traits such as stubbornness, irritability, violence, egocentrism, and a superficial value system. Our arrogance and discriminatory/control mindset have a negative impact on the character and personality of children. Because most of us possess the aforementioned personality and character traits, thus instead of social ostracism of these actions, we choose to celebrate and commend for greatness. Despite any front we may maintain, the truth remains that our arrogance often surpasses our commitment to prioritising children.

3.1  Akin to the stolen Australian Aboriginal generations

In simpler terms, the Stolen Aboriginal Generation of Australia refers to a time when Aboriginal people were viewed as uncivilised and inferior, denying them their basic human rights and treating them as subhuman. As a result of racism, superiority-arrogance, and a controlling mindset, specific regulations were implemented that mandated the separation of children with one Aboriginal and one European parent from their Aboriginal parent, and they were instead placed within the European community. Whatever these children learned, learned by following European society. The genuine connection and sentiments these children had towards their original Aboriginal parents did not have the chance to grow and flourish. Is there anything that could be more cruel and abusive for a child than this? In the past, the European community, which sees itself as civilised, used to perpetrate acts of cruelty and abuse on children, both socially and organisationally. Over the course of many decades, this discriminatory and cruel behaviour persisted. Although it is denied under arrogance of greatness, its effects gradually infiltrated the subconscious of people in Australian society. It is truly unfortunate that there are still individuals who continue to harbour the same discriminatory mentality.

The conditioning of cruelty, discrimination, hollowness of values, and other negative aspects continue to be deeply rooted and established in the subconscious mind. To achieve freedom from the pervasive control of cavities and conditioning, individuals must consistently engage in introspective cognitive activities. Regardless of any outward appearances, it is distressing to acknowledge that a discriminatory mindset continues to persist among many individuals. The act of separating children from their parents is carried out by certain individuals who possess an arrogant, discriminative, and controlling mindset, and who perceive these parents as being inferior and lowlife.

The presence of cruelty and racism persists within the mindset of a significant number of individuals, even in the modern era, taking shape as micro-seeds. When individuals like them become parents, because of their arrogance and discriminatory mindset, they hold the belief that their spouse lacks understanding about parenting. Individuals who possess a controlling or discriminative mindset often manipulate their partners through the use of various excuses and arguments, convincing them that they lack intelligence about parenting. This type of manipulation has the goal of restricting their role to that of mere babysitting. If the spouse opposes this kind of mindset and reacts, in many cases, discriminative-arrogant people are so insensitive, cruel, hypocritical and hollow in values that they take away the mother or father from the children and break up the family.

By separating parents from children based on a discriminatory and arrogant mindset that seeks to exert control, we not only deprive children of their right to family integrity and integral parenting, but also perpetuate a pattern reminiscent of the Stolen Generations. Although there may be a difference in the appearance of the upper cover, the inner character retains the same mindset. The situation involves one person deeming the other as unworthy and wrongfully preventing them from exercising their rightful parental rights. The discriminatory mentality deprives the child of essential aspects such as diversity-parenting, family-integrity, integral-parenting, and more.

3.2  Is it not the "Heinous Child Abuse"?

It is unfortunate that a significant number of individuals fail to genuinely and sincerely strive for a constructive solution, instead opting to feign efforts to appear virtuous in the eyes of others, misleading them into believing that serious attempts have been made to resolve the issue. Unfortunately, the truth is that many of us actively discourage any attempts to find a constructive solution. The majority of parents, unfortunately, do not put forth genuine and dedicated efforts to resolve problems, which ultimately leads to the disintegration of the family and compels children to adapt to changing circumstances through emotional manipulation or greed, among other tactics. Despite the fact that as adults, most of us are resistant to changing our mindset, we impose upon children the expectation to accept and adapt to negative circumstances created by our arrogance and psychological-cavities.

Many individuals who have not endured significant hardships, believe that the minor inconveniences they face are the epitome of life's deepest pain. The absence of self-introspection among the majority of these individuals can result in the manifestation of negative qualities, such as cruelty, manipulation, and hypocrisy. In this manner, they persistently invest their energy into the construction of lies and the manipulation of circumstances.

As we become more discriminative and arrogant, we fail to recognise the significance of diversity as a fundamental element of parenting. The clutches of our mindset, which are formed by the influence of our parents, friends, society, and even the depths of our subconscious, severely impact our children. Ironically, the feeling of pride overwhelms us when we engage in such activities. It is our strong belief that our children should solely be trained according to our own mindset and the mindsets of our society. 

When it comes to children, it is crucial that we must possess an unwavering and genuinely sincere commitment, coupled with a high level of accountability. By this we ensure that children are safeguarded against subconscious cavities and psychological disturbances, allowing them to grow with a genuine sense of purpose and clarity, and experience true happiness in life, free from the constraints of our own mindset. Additionally, by this, we prioritise fostering a sense of mindfulness and introspection in children so that they can become truly thoughtful individuals.

If there is indeed a genuine and profound commitment, a strong sense of accountability, and unwavering dedication towards the well-being of children, then we shall undoubtedly engage in deep introspection, take full responsibility for our actions, and diligently work towards rectifying any errors that may have occurred. Furthermore, we will earnestly strive to find constructive and positive solutions to ensure a better life for children through family-integrity, integral-parenting and diversity-parenting. Because the majority of cases are commonly influenced by negative factors such as arrogance, discrimination/control, self-centricity, the deep-seated issues of the subconscious, and psychological-sects. Life partners who have shared a home together for many years, have no drug addiction or alcoholism, have remained faithful to each other, and have never engaged in any form of physical violence or forced sexual intercourse. Not any type of forced intercourse, even when one partner has been consistently rejecting sexual intercourse since the first day of marriage, using various superficial excuses. In life partners who live together for years, if anyone reaches the mindset after the birth of children that they should be apart. It is important for individuals to engage in deep and honest introspection in order to determine whether the root cause of their problems lies in a controlling/discriminatory mindset, arrogance, subconscious issues, social and family conditioning, or influence from friends, relatives, or any psychological-sect.

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Distorted Psychology-Sects (neo-Religion) vs Values and Parenting